onnaloves posts
I’m waiting for pathology results this week. I’m no longer p..
I’m waiting for pathology results this week. I’m no longer producing these videos but I have a whole library of them. Some I could not upload here due to OF rules of the number of people in the production. If someone helps me with any part of production, they need to be credited. And some of my videos my husband doesn’t want to be credited, so cannot be uploaded here. There is no solution to this as some of my videos cannot be hosted on free hosting to share as this goes against terms of free hosting, since they are classed as adult. So no one can see them. The time I produced those videos people were either lucky enough to see, and it didn’t afford me enough to pay for hosting to keep the video online. Therefore, many of my videos are stuck in limbo, unable to be shared.
2023-10-23 15:11:30 +0000 UTC View PostI made a decision to stop uploading new content on this chan..
I made a decision to stop uploading new content on this channel. This week is the last of any new content. My time put in has far outweighed any benefit, so I have decided to no longer record ASMR video as the personal cost is too high. I want to enjoy pool time without being avoiding people around me. I want to enjoy social space without being having to choose from time windows where I can match my lighting and shooting needs to available time off and the social circumstance of people around me. I want to just enjoy swimming without thinking about the phone camera. I want to save my favorite swimsuits from being destroyed just for the camera. I want to spend my own money on material hobbies, instead of stuff I need for the camera. This is all too much for me, and I no longer enjoy sharing. I’m doing this for my mental health. My priority number one is maintaining my life balance. Thank you to all those who have supported me. It is appreciated, genuinely, I just can’t continue anymore
2023-09-18 22:48:07 +0000 UTC View PostThe last few swims. It is the end of Summer, the absolute en..
The last few swims. It is the end of Summer, the absolute end of my equipment that I’m no longer able to invest in, and even the end of some of my favorite swimsuits. They finally suffered delamination and I’m no longer incentivized to invest in sharing my private hobby. It costs me too much to share. This month is the last month of uploads everywhere. Please stop chasing me down on other platforms. This behavior is detestable. I was only willing to share here but individuals that think they can cross those boundaries elsewhere have polluted my motivation to share altogether. I am giving up this platform soon.
2023-09-18 22:25:52 +0000 UTC View Post
Stills from birthday girl video I was asked to shoot some st..
Stills from birthday girl video I was asked to shoot some stuff underwater. This is not possible as I no longer have equipment to do so. I am not able to invest. The trickle that comes in on OnlyFans does not support creative content. Literally everything that comes in off this platform is going on bus fare to work. So please don’t ask. I only document what I can. I have been unable to invest in new equipment for years and am unable to use my existing phone in an underwater case as the screen is cracked open and too risky. The amount of likes per video is the approximate money I make per week and it’s literally all spoken for on daily living. I’m glad I get to enjoy swimming at my own apartment complex now having been homeless for all of last summer. But I have a long way to go to claw my way back out of housing crisis. Much of the stuff I own, is still in storage, and with full-time work, I feel no inspiration to chug out content for the sake of requests. I’m only doing what I have time to spare for now. So please don’t ask. I had plans for my birthday to have a play date and depending on how things turned out with their permission to share some of that. But unfortunately the hurricane prediction and doctors tests were necessary on my only day off during the week. I have consumed so much of my paid time off with illness that I am back to considering 6 day work weeks now that the weather is closing in on my pool access. This is probably the last video of the season.
2023-08-19 15:29:03 +0000 UTC View PostBirthday Suit. It’s my birthday next week, so I was practici..
Birthday Suit. It’s my birthday next week, so I was practicing in a fave holographic suit gifted to me by a fan. I have doctors appointments every week for the next month. Each week a different speciality and it’s infuriating. Swimming is really my only relief at the moment. So every moment in the pool is special to me while it lasts.
2023-08-17 06:36:38 +0000 UTC View PostI managed to do one-arm hand-balancing! Plus a few more of m..
I managed to do one-arm hand-balancing! Plus a few more of my trick experimental moves toeing through the water like it’s my natural atmosphere.
2023-08-14 04:27:02 +0000 UTC View Post
I found the pool like glass, on a cloudy day where no one wa..
I found the pool like glass, on a cloudy day where no one wanted the natural sun-cover, I felt lucky so I grabbed the chance to chill and breathhold a bit, trying to keep the water still. This took a day to upload because I’ve been distracted with so much pain. I tried yoga, but I still can’t get any relief from the stomach aches and joint pain.
2023-08-10 07:15:41 +0000 UTC View PostI managed to avoid the emergency room this week, but I manag..
I managed to avoid the emergency room this week, but I manage to play to relieve pain. Feeling stable, but I’m still waiting for a good day. I have doctors appointments jamming up every day off for the next six weeks, and I cashed in my holiday pay to pay something against the medical bills still accruing. My deductible is $1600, and so far I have blown through it, but certain specialists are out of network and those deductibles are double the out of pocket. Ah well. Such is the cost of living, or the cost of staying ill in this country, as one thing for sure, none of the billing has gone a penny toward making me well yet - we don’t even have a formal diagnosis yet. And the tests the doctors keep ordering that don’t help me get well, I am still avoiding because I know they will come up either negative for the sake of a few hundred dollars, or of absolutely zero consequence towards making me better. I spent an hour playing in the pool today, if only you were with me. I would have kicked your ass. Even when I’m unwell I just love pounding the water.
2023-08-08 08:42:43 +0000 UTC View PostDay by day, I’m recovering from this massive autoimmune reac..
Day by day, I’m recovering from this massive autoimmune reaction. Whatever landed me in hospital is now effusive and although my gut reaction of 8 days straight diarrhea has stopped… the symptoms are back from 18 months ago including passing pus out of my gut. Sorry for the gross update - this is how much trouble my body is in. My only days off work are consumed with doctors appointments, workers compensation, counseling and treatment options. It’s going to get harder to find time for the pool. Work has now changed my schedule once again to accommodate the rough time I’m having, which means there’s less time in the pool as they are prioritizing me to work from noon till 8pm through the weekends, with my regular days off being weekdays to enable me to get treatments. I cut my hair again today to make it easier to deal with treatments for my thinning hair. It’s still falling out lots. I’m going to have to cash in my saved holiday pay to supplement my treatment cashflow.
2023-08-04 12:32:58 +0000 UTC View PostOnly got to wait until tomorrow for my first consultation re..
Only got to wait until tomorrow for my first consultation regarding my autoimmune disease that may help me with some kind of immediate relief. I feel like I’ve been hanging on by a thread daily to cope with diarrhea 10x a day and massive abdominal cramps distressed that while this disease is unchecked, it’s adding to scarring in my bile ducts. If I can cope with low energy from lack of food absorption, a swim like this actually relieves the epigastric pain. But I have to calculate the risk around explosive runs to the bathroom.
2023-07-31 17:34:58 +0000 UTC View PostBonus content this week! Managed to get in the pool twice th..
Bonus content this week! Managed to get in the pool twice this week due to my time off sick after the two emergency room visits. I tried welding the case sealed with TPU rubber, but it still failed. My iPhone is so old it’s hard to source a new case for it. I’m wondering whether to cast a new gadget in silicone this time around… but each time it makes the case more damaged.
2023-07-28 15:59:15 +0000 UTC View PostCreepy cumming soon… this is my sculpture I’m making a mold ..
Creepy cumming soon… this is my sculpture I’m making a mold from for a new breather hood AND swim cap mold. The first is a fully enclosed hood with just the nose holes, for breathplay and creepy play since I love hoods and masking. I love the sensory deprivation but I also love the creepy factor of disturbing power I feel I have when I’m wearing this. I don’t care about my sexuality right now or my victimhood (no pun intended) but sensory deprivation seems to harness a lot of my self control back. This is very much what I need right now. Secondly, the mold will be able to be dual purpose to pull a very cool swimcap from it. In the first prototype pull, I’m embedding LED lights within the hood just for the visual effects hehe. I will be livestreaming the whole mold making process for free, so when I do this on OF, this is a safe place to ask me here any weird questions you may have because I will be deemed “innapropriate” to talk about such stuff on any other platform. Keep me posted with your comments on stuff you’d like to know…
2023-07-28 02:11:20 +0000 UTC View PostWas in ER twice over the weekend, had severe pain worse than..
Was in ER twice over the weekend, had severe pain worse than childbirth in my upper abdomen with no pain relief other than morphine and stuff I wouldn’t take outside the hospital. I decided to go for a “light swim” which for me means spending time hovering upside down imverted practicing balance in the water and working on dynamic breathholds. My dynamic breathhold is improved since 4 weeks ago, and my resting heart rate is now down to 61. Long way to go, it used to be in the upper 40’s say 47bpm and easily uw dynamic work I could get to around 59bpm. I’m checking my Fitbit underwater hence the clear goggles, it’s reading 96bpm - so that’s a long way to go for me but considering I’m in severe pain, it’s below a 100 so that’s pretty good
2023-07-25 15:41:15 +0000 UTC View PostI went in the pool today to deal with my abdominal pains, I ..
I went in the pool today to deal with my abdominal pains, I didn’t do any uw pictures though because it was too much difficulty to try and refurb old cases and keep them leak free. Hopefully if I gather enough tips I can source a new case for my existing iPhone.
2023-07-24 22:10:34 +0000 UTC View PostNot a pretty picture, I’ve had 2 trips to the ER this week f..
Not a pretty picture, I’ve had 2 trips to the ER this week for a whopping $1600 (minimum estimate excluding the ambulance costs) because my immune system decided to give me massive amounts of pain and prevent me from eating. The years of struggle have developed an immune condition that doctors struggle to diagnose which is rheumatoid in nature and attacks every gland in my body. From my uterus through my guts, pancreas, tear-glands and brain hypothalamus. I am extremely tired and feel like a rag dog having being poked and jammed full of morphine and radiation for tests. I’m not well, and haven’t been for years. 18 months ago I thought I was cured when they removed a tumor from my duodenum. But all the symptoms are back. The stress of homelessness for 6 months, working 6 day weeks, doing night shifts, and the last 4 months of bullying has taken its toll and I can only access the pool when I’m well enough because now I’m so sick I am in constant pain and my CPTSD has come back with a vengeance. I can’t deal with messaging, notifications even comments are triggering. I’m blocking all communication except through OnlyFans. Most of the comments I receive elsewhere are not healthy for me to look at having dealt with so much sexual harassment I am simply re-triggered when I receive any uninvited inuendo. I’m avoiding any triggers that release stress hormones in my body and cause these immune attacks that give me severe pain. I’ve been bullied in close context on a regular basis for a period over 5 months, and the stress-reaction has undone all the good work I have achieved in the last 18 months. This person didn’t even know they were a bully but everything hurt from their words from the first day and just became compounded. I’ve worked so hard to achieve stability for myself but medical bankruptcy is a genuine panic factor for me and I feel it’s coming. I’m not ranting today. I’m filling you in on why it’s been so difficult to pursue my own happiness as a victim of compounded trauma with ongoing nervous system reactions to familiar memories. The person that was bullying me, is unaware the things they say are ILLEGAL and I fall under a protected class due to my disabilities, and emotional health. It went on for so long because friends and colleagues were apologists for this kind of behavior and I was unaware that being hurt so deeply was a sacrifice to my health in order to look after their emotions and behavior. People like me, die because of apologists that protect the status quo and enable mean and insulting behavior. I want you to know that this is serious. Veterans of war are taken more seriously for their PTSD than abuse victims like myself. Veterans of war have known triggers they are able to protect themselves from, but survivors like me, in the hidden world of SA, we do not reveal what troubles us and when we speak up we risk further shame and bullying and even compounding diminishment and apologists to excuse the others behavior and words which is what happened to me. Be nice, you don’t know what troubles people or makes them strange.
2023-07-23 18:31:05 +0000 UTC View PostI destroyed my hair in this session… it got irreparably tang..
I destroyed my hair in this session… it got irreparably tangled to the point where it just ripped in half as it was so weak from years of being unable to take very good care of it. So I cut half my hair off after. I also have to find new affordable UW hardware, a case I used only once last season warped and no longer held a seal, and a new one I just bought was too generic and couldn’t hold tolerance. My iPhone is too old to find useable cases easily.
2023-07-20 10:36:06 +0000 UTC View PostI am going to be 46 next month… last night I had a first nig..
I am going to be 46 next month… last night I had a first night sleep in over a month that my FitBit recorded, I’ve been really strung out over issues at work, nightshift, working too hard etc. So today I had to just chill and do a light body conditioning routine. I would love to compare how my routines change my appearance over the next few weeks, that would be a nice birthday gift to myself. I’m hopeful I have resolved some of the major stress at work by being re-deployed. Unfortunately I don’t recover as fast as I used to from stressors, so I’m sure I’m looking at slow progress over the next two weeks to get back in shape and mental health. The latter be b my CPTSD that has taken a recent dive. I am unable to respond to messages during this time as notifications is one of my triggers. Apart from the harassment I recently received at work, my CPTSD has reared its ugly chronic head and I’m suffering autoimmune reactions and neuropathies even with simple notifications. So I’ve turned off all phone notifications and ask that patrons respect only contacting me via the safe messaging system here on OF. I am intentionally not checking other messaging apps as they are presently overwhelming. I shouldn’t even have to explain.
2023-07-18 08:00:47 +0000 UTC View PostUnderwater selfies until the case leaked. Going to have to f..
Underwater selfies until the case leaked. Going to have to find another uw case again…
2023-07-13 04:57:31 +0000 UTC View PostThose of you that have known me forever know that I have bee..
Those of you that have known me forever know that I have been doing this forever. Playing my butt off in shiny suits and constantly working on elegant acro and beautiful flow. It takes strength to produce grace, focus and repetitive determination to self improve, and what feels like an eternity of battling against my own disorders to become more than human. Or my way of being supernatural. I’m building towards a big personal project this year now that I have security of income, and am basically filming my constant self discipline to get there. This is going to be the toughest challenge of my life and I’m doing it all on my own. I’ve learned no one can do this with me, so I’m gonna bite the bullet and not wait any longer for life to not be hard, it always will be, so I’ll make the best performance I can make by the time my costume is finished.
2023-07-05 01:41:37 +0000 UTC View PostWeek 2 of pool ninja being back. I am playing an hour a day ..
Week 2 of pool ninja being back. I am playing an hour a day in the pool and my metabolism is changing rapidly. I’m feeling more relaxed in the pool and am able to start my apnea training soon
2023-06-29 16:14:22 +0000 UTC View PostDaily pool fun! This is literally the beginning of a warm-up..
Daily pool fun! This is literally the beginning of a warm-up phase to get me to acclimatize to breath holding again. I have a lot of physical therapy to go through having been sedentary for most of the last year. So watch my progress! I have literally not done any acrobatics for a solid year so I am feeling weak and unable to jump straight back into action like I was. Disclaimer: This is entirely filmed alone with a stand-off iPhone. There is nobody with me.
2023-06-22 21:44:50 +0000 UTC View PostSoooo I’ve been dying to find a play partner for some safe f..
Soooo I’ve been dying to find a play partner for some safe fetish fun. I am unusual in that I like pretty hard-core full enclosure-type device experiments. But this costs a girl money to build for herself, and it’s probably a bit dangerous to do on one’s own particularly where I like to be fully encased, hooded, taped, wrapped etc. it’s also a little difficult to adjust where I want to place my At-At when I even want to consider doing self bondage. So I’ve been inventing “things” to pull this off on my own. However, the very fustration in imagineering this stuff drives me crazy so I must find a willing accomplice. Two days of going through some local contacts and I landed a possibility… I texted him this image, and it kinda sealed the deal. I didn’t just inbox him with it though, I was a little bit more tactful than that. However, I still feel dissappointed that the pic that sealed the deal was not something I inherently find attractive about myself. Honestly I prefer being covered up. And a guy that immediately gets his rocks off on anything but, is not likely to last with me, so we will see. The last guy lasted 4 hours, then lost his shit because I passed out. That’s the preview photo above. The one behind the paywall is not something I’m actually proud of. Which is why I prefer to cover up. Guys usually ask me for a butt pic or whatever, and sadly, I am usually dissappointed at that point.
2023-06-22 09:12:55 +0000 UTC View PostA Sneak Peek at my new Resort-Style Pool. It’s literally the..
A Sneak Peek at my new Resort-Style Pool. It’s literally the first time I got into the pool this year, it’s been a long time since over a year when I last was able to swim before ending up homeless. This pool is not private so I’m limited with what I can do. This is simply a raw video of my first swim session in a year. I’m ghastly unfit, having been unable to any swimming for lack of heated access, and I’m thoroughly bruised from physical therapy. I’m wearing a Fitbit now to track my recovery rates to getting back to health. I’m following up with the doc tomorrow about a recent autoimmune diagnosis that has taken away all my energy levels. I’ve been chronically fatigued for a while whilst holding down a 6 day week night shift job in order to try and get stability again. But I’m burned out. Im trying to invest in a program on-the-side to get me out of debt and enable a healthier stress free lifestyle for me to actually heal… but it’s not quite happening. The treatment for my autoimmune condition is $480 with insurance, I simply can’t afford it. It’s $780 without insurance. So I’m relying on self management techniques and bit by bit trying to get back into the pool again. There’s going to be rapid improvements now that I’m able to get back into my love of swimming.
2023-06-19 04:19:11 +0000 UTC View PostHere is a new swimcap I am sculpting for a three day video s..
Here is a new swimcap I am sculpting for a three day video shoot on the first swim of the summer.
2023-06-01 18:25:29 +0000 UTC View PostBeen dead quiet in here while I’ve been busy redeveloping my..
Been dead quiet in here while I’ve been busy redeveloping my Medusa…
2023-05-06 15:24:49 +0000 UTC View PostI’ve started listing my monster pussy creations for sale on ..
I’ve started listing my monster pussy creations for sale on Etsy. You can see my shop under /shop/nuwamedusa within the Etsy website. I’m currently sculpting new fetish items including knickers and breather hoods which I will hopefully get to play with here in the next couple weeks.
2023-02-12 14:54:16 +0000 UTC View Post