I unlocked a new skill!! 🔥 NECKPIT FARTING 🤣🤣🤣
I unlocked a new skill!! 🔥 NECKPIT FARTING 🤣🤣🤣
2021-06-28 16:56:01 +0000 UTC View Post
magicalswampgoblin posts
Eat lots of viscous veggies, and one day, you'll grow eyebal..
Eat lots of viscous veggies, and one day, you'll grow eyeballs and a mustache just like mine. God told me, so it has to be true. 🙏
2021-04-19 21:27:04 +0000 UTC View PostSome extra crispy fetish sucking for to help with that drip ..
Some extra crispy fetish sucking for to help with that drip drip drip 🍆💦🤣
2021-04-19 14:25:19 +0000 UTC View PostBaby pigeons are fucking terrifying, and they just won't lea..
Baby pigeons are fucking terrifying, and they just won't leave me alone this season, what GIVES?
2021-04-19 02:12:39 +0000 UTC View PostMy official stance is questionable at best. Please refrain f..
My official stance is questionable at best. Please refrain from further investigation.
2021-04-18 19:05:42 +0000 UTC View PostMy lips are a portal to another dimension where everyone is ..
My lips are a portal to another dimension where everyone is a different version of Jesus. My favorite is the Jesus who only wears a zebra print thong speedo, flame style pasties, a hot pink sequin fedora, and rhinestone cowboy boots. He's my favorite because he is, by far, the most serious about spreading the gospel. There is a whole group of Jesuses who wear tacky, floral print, ankle length dresses with gaudy sun hats, and honestly, I just can't with them. I doubt they take the gospel seriously at all, to be perfectly frank.
2021-04-18 14:31:03 +0000 UTC View PostSLUGS SLUGS I LOVE SLUGS IM ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY WILD ABOUT..
SLUGS SLUGS I LOVE SLUGS IM ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY WILD ABOUT SLUGS!!!
2021-03-25 17:24:29 +0000 UTC View PostIt's amazing to me how much fat my knees accumulate 🙃 For re..
It's amazing to me how much fat my knees accumulate 🙃 For real though, even when I was super skinny, I always had weird fat deposits on my knees and now my knees are legit chonk hahahaha I've also always had strangely chonk ankles even when I was skinny. I used to say "I'm the skinniest person you'll ever m€€t with cankles" and people agreed when they saw them in person, they were legit cankles... Now I'm over here thinking shit like "these twice baked potatoes with extra sour cream are going straight to my knees and cankles" 🤣 Having a body is so ridiculous 🤣
2021-03-25 17:20:34 +0000 UTC View PostYou truly wouldn't believe the shit he has to put up with.....
You truly wouldn't believe the shit he has to put up with... 👾🙃👾 @moltenc0re
2021-03-25 16:52:44 +0000 UTC View PostEntirely reasonable butt flap stuff
Entirely reasonable butt flap stuff
2021-03-25 01:20:43 +0000 UTC View PostIT'S ALMOST JESUS DAY ✝️ MY TONGUE IS EXCITED AS FUUUUCK 👅 ..
IT'S ALMOST JESUS DAY ✝️ MY TONGUE IS EXCITED AS FUUUUCK 👅 CHICKIE CHICKIE 🐥
2021-03-24 18:42:24 +0000 UTC View PostRECIPE TIIIIIIIIIME 🤤🍕 God's OG Tom Yum Soup It was a hot..
RECIPE TIIIIIIIIIME 🤤🍕 God's OG Tom Yum Soup It was a hot, summer night, and the snowflakes looked like fried eggs as they glistened on the sidewalk. I was walking faster than usual for no particular reason, and the air was lingering on every cell of my body as it blew past me. I thought to myself, "Wow, this is such neat pavement," and smiled approvingly. Everything smelled like cardamom and blue Gatorade. How nice. As I entered the forest, a small acorn started rolling along beside me. I was pleased. The acorn seemed pleased as well. We shared several meaningful moments as we trotted along. When we came to a fork in the road, the acorn swiftly led the way, and I excitedly followed. You know what they always say, "that which way the acorn flows is the best way to go." In that moment, I knew God was with me. I kneeled down in the soil and prayed aloud for the "life juice" of Christ to grant me one wish. "Please, I beseech ye, give me the greatest Tom Yum soup recipe in the world!!" At that very moment, a lightning bolt struck the earth and in the scorched remains was the following recipe. All of the trees clapped in unison. Like and share if this story touched you, amen, and yum! 🙏 Tom Yum Soup - God's OG Recipe Ingredients: 5+ lb whole frozen chicken Jar of Thai Kitchen brand red curry paste Fish sauce Soy sauce Salt Pepper Coconut cream (canned) Onion Mushrooms Canned bamboo shoots Canned water chesnuts Bok choy (or baby bok choy or kale or chard) Carrots 1/4 cup fresh lime juice 3-4 fresh limes Cilantro Garlic Ginger Step 1: Boil chicken, add enough water to fully cover. Add half jar of curry paste, tablespoon of salt, teaspoon of pepper, half of carrots and onion(big pieces) half of garlic and ginger (add cayanne pepper for heat, and turmeric if preffered) bring to boil and put on low for 2 hours (if less than f1ve pounds, 1 hour and 30 min) Step 2: Let set for 15 minutes then pull chicken out with utensil and strain broth (it will be used for the soup) seperate chicken and bones once cool enough. Save carrots and onion for soup if you like it extra thicc. Step 3: Add broth back to the pot, add chicken, other half of curry paste, onion, mushrooms, garlic, ginger. Boil for 10 minutes Step 4: Add 3 tablespoons of fish sauce, coconut cream, bamboo shoots, water chesnuts, bok choy, carrots (sliced thin at an angle), the rest of garlic and ginger. Simmer for 20 minutes Step 5: Add 1/4 cup of lime juice, simmer 5 more minutes Step 6: Serve with cilantro and half lime. Enjoy.
2021-03-16 13:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostExtraterrestrial swamp goblin titties for Jehovah! What have..
Extraterrestrial swamp goblin titties for Jehovah! What have you offered the Almighty lately? Share your stories below, and God will give you a gold star!!! 🌟
2021-03-15 20:21:26 +0000 UTC View PostYou heard me right!! 📢 Less than fift€en minutes ⏳ of terror..
You heard me right!! 📢 Less than fift€en minutes ⏳ of terrorists 🔫 communists 🟥 cannon balls 💣 clowns 🤡 aliens 👽 lovely douchebags 🌹 russian spies 🔎 the world's slowest refrigerator 🧊 cyborgs 🦾 space pirates 🏴☠️ cucumber muffins 🥒 and at risk of seeming narcissistic 🙊 GREAT WORK ME 🏆
2021-03-15 00:57:50 +0000 UTC View PostElite choreography 🥵🥵🥵 (no music because the only sounds I ..
Elite choreography 🥵🥵🥵 (no music because the only sounds I need are the voices in my head)
2021-03-11 00:34:45 +0000 UTC View PostKissing queen champion supreme 🫀🫁🧠👅
Kissing queen champion supreme 🫀🫁🧠👅
2021-03-11 00:32:55 +0000 UTC View PostI'm not a "hot mess" pfffttt I'm a "Saint" 😇🙏
I'm not a "hot mess" pfffttt I'm a "Saint" 😇🙏
2021-03-09 20:06:45 +0000 UTC View PostConcentration is key 💪🔑 #nevergiveup #neverbackdown #compe..
Concentration is key 💪🔑 #nevergiveup #neverbackdown #competitivekissing #kissingwarmups #kissingpractice #determination #endurancekissing
2021-03-09 17:37:31 +0000 UTC View PostImportant meme straight from our personal Lord and Savior 🙏
Important meme straight from our personal Lord and Savior 🙏
2021-03-04 21:40:52 +0000 UTC View PostYou can save thousands on your car insurance loans simply by..
You can save thousands on your car insurance loans simply by switching to Christ 🙏
2021-03-01 19:33:48 +0000 UTC View PostGot caught doing weird shit in my dumpster nest again... 🤔 Y..
Got caught doing weird shit in my dumpster nest again... 🤔 You win a prize if you can guess what I was doing! 🏆
2021-03-01 19:31:25 +0000 UTC View PostThis is the kind of shit that happens when I try to "be crea..
This is the kind of shit that happens when I try to "be creative" bwahaha
2021-03-01 19:24:20 +0000 UTC View PostTook a nice winter walk with the Holy Ghost by my side, toda..
Took a nice winter walk with the Holy Ghost by my side, today 🙏 I spent some time connecting with the snow bugs and praying to our lord the father next to this GOBLIN SPIRIT STICK TOTEM POLE OF WONDER 😱 I could really feel it amplifying my devotion to sky daddyyyyyy Also, Jesus made my nipples hard again hehe 🥰 I fall in love more and more everyday 💕 PRAISE BE 🙌
2021-02-28 21:46:07 +0000 UTC View Post
Episode 1: God Loves This, He Told Me 🙏 In which I instruct..
Episode 1: God Loves This, He Told Me 🙏 In which I instruct on proper prayer practices, discuss how your nipples can help you have a closer relationship with Jesus, and sing you a sexy little song 🎶
2021-02-27 17:42:43 +0000 UTC View Post