I made a new introduction video. I’m a bit more comfortable since I first made my account. I use this account to post what I feel like posting. Sometimes it’s my body. Sometimes it’s my art. Sometimes it’s complaints. Stick around if you like it. Move on if you don’t. I don’t charge anything. Tips are welcome but not expected. If you tip, please do so as appreciation for what I have posted not as an expectation to tell me what to share.
I didn’t expect to post anything like this anytime soon but I was overwhelmingly inspired to get out some toys I haven’t played with in months and have a lovely playtime. I am uploading unedited videos. I don’t do glossy editing. I’m not against it. I just don’t want to invest the time to learn how to do it.
Another experiment with silicone mold making. I was trying to get a mold of my tit hanging but it was really hard! I did get it done but it could be better. When I was setting up my camera I played around with the extreme angle and added the video as a bonus.
This is a long video because I was stuck in place while I made a mold of myself. It’s an experiment and I ramble on about nothing at times. Just thought I’d share the time consuming process of my creative mind and need to study and record my existence.
Sorry I haven’t been on in a while. I’ve been struggling to figure out a way to financially support myself that isn’t a boring or abusive hourly job. I need out of my husband’s house but I’m struggling to do so. It’s making life kinda sucky. I don’t know when I’ll be back. Here’s a painting I finished.
I made dress pants. I need some that fit for job interviews. I haven’t bought any since I gained weight in the pandemic. It’s difficult to find pants that fit me. I used a 20W-28W pattern. In some places I used the 20W measurements. In others I extended past the 28W. In between I guessed on the shape of the line. It was an experiment but I think it turned out pretty well. I guess I’m ready to go look for a job and get out on my own.
I spent a little time this morning looking at myself under the skylight in my bathroom. I watched how I jiggle and how the narrow light casts shadows on my body. I may use some screenshots from this video for paintings.
These were my first two nude self portraits. The one with black background is the very first one. It is pieced together from two images because I didn’t know how to take a full body selfie without my phone being in the image. (Now I just screenshot a video) I took a picture holding it in each hand then painted the half of each without the phone. It created a bit of a perspective shift that was frustrating but that got me focused on the painting instead of the fact that I was really looking at my body for the first time. (That one is also painted using an old painting technique I was experimenting with at the time that uses a green under painting with glazed color on top.) The second was a painting I did while most of my stuff was packed up so we could sell our house. I kept out large tubes of phalo blue and white and a couple small others so I could play around. It gave me something to focus on besides the move. The image came from a request I fulfilled from a man on Reddit. My hair was multicolored at the time but it’s exaggerated in the painting. I stopped coloring it like that because it was destroying my hair. It was fun though.
I want to thank my fans for your support and kind words. Thank you. I don’t feel like chatting but I did read all the comments and messages. They do mostly make me feel better. I’ve been asked if I have seen a therapist. I have in the past but they haven’t been very helpful. Art has been helpful though. I developed a way to express my feelings during the pandemic. I write down the things swirling in my brain then draw over them and change them into artwork. It helps me get them out of my head and gives them a new altered existence outside of me. I thought I’d share some. Two of these are about my recent disappointment.
I’m going to try to share some art here instead of sexy stuff. I understand if that’s not what you want and need to move on. I really do understand and won’t hold it against anyone who leaves.
My vacation did not go well.
I am not feeling attractive, much less sexy.
I’m actually feeling downright ugly.
My instinct is to delete all of my social media and withdraw. I’m resisting that urge.
Instead, I’m just going to withdraw.
I don’t know for how long.
I’m sorry for withdrawing on this new platform so early into my account.
To all of you who are about to fuck a fat older woman for the first time. Know before hand that fat feels and moves differently and so does older skin. Don’t wait to discover your fetish is purely visual until you have her in a very vulnerable position. She deserves better.
(This is a scheduled post while I’m on vacation. I won’t be able to respond until after February 8th)
While making room on my phone for vacation photos I came up with the idea to record as I scrolled through my hidden photo/video library. I thought it was a good post for today, my 50th birthday. Enjoy seven minutes of me!
I’m on vacation until February 8th. I’m trying out the scheduled posts while I’m gone. I won’t be responding until after the 8th.
This video is a painting experiment using alternative water. The painting itself isn’t meaningful. It’s the process and trying not to feel self conscious while working nude.
I’ve been cleaning off my phone to make room for vacation memories. It’s icy outside and I came across this video of a summer outfit and thought I’d share. I won’t be posting or responding until after February 8th.
Stretching is really important at my size and age. I really enjoy doing it but I often don’t take the time to do it. I thought if I started sharing my stretches here it might help me make the time to do it more regularly and increase my flexibility. Here are two views of my stretches. Which view do you prefer?
I’m not sure if my live streams show up on my page automatically. I didn’t see it so I’m posting it. I’m a bit dorky when trying to figure it out but a very nice subscriber watched and helped me out. Thank you James! It was fun and I plan to do more.
I’m going to attempt a live video. I have no idea what I’m doing. Please be patient if you watch. I’m just going to look at some material I bought to make clothes and try to decide what to do with it.
This is a painting I worked on last year. It’s an expression of my frustration with my childhood and my marriage. It’s 24 minutes long. I’m using it to see how well a long video posts. It’s a different kind of painting than I usually do. The painting isn’t finished. I’ve never had a platform I could post this on before. I’d love to know what you think.
Here’s an introduction video explaining what to expect from my posts (I altered this video to cut out some sound because I mentioned a forbidden word and didn’t want to get in trouble.)
