🖤⛓🥰Bringing this beast back to life tonight complete with new things to go bump in the night. Tomorrow I’ll live stream my makeup I think.🖤⛓❤️🔥 This doll is a piece complete with illusions about 🗡🖤🕷obsession🕷🖤🗡 Who or what is your obsession? Did they pull you down into darkness? ⛓🔪Tell me how your scars were wrought🔪⛓ ~👻~
2021-10-27 19:26:15 +0000 UTC View Post
My subs got a couple more than you but don’t worry - I’ll share a treat here soon. ⛓🔪Sighing softly, bended knee🔪⛓ ⚰️Sweetly give yourself to me⚰️ 🗡🔮Burning inside, searing pain🔮🗡 🩸you’ll never want a thing again🩸 I recorded a time lapse of makeup for you all. With conventions and gigs and my computer going down again, I almost gave up. I’ve almost given up. But I can’t and I never will You’ll be forever haunted by me. Surrender. 🕷👻🕷
2021-10-24 17:43:45 +0000 UTC View Post
Something lovely this way comes ~ just a little longer now 👻❤️🔥👻
2021-10-20 04:43:07 +0000 UTC View Post
👤💨🌬FROZEN🌬💨👤 💨never did I truly see how blind I truly was💨 💨ever did my soul believe what he💨 💨says and does💨 💨my shattered mind they somehow bind💨 💨with ribbon, bone, and red💨 💨I’m trapped here now I can’t escape💨 💨mementos of that bed💨 I am hosting a 4 day convention and I heard they are sending me a new CPU so I’ll be able to work again. I’ll be selling some risqué photos and I’m open for customs now as well. Please help me get 🍜ramen🍜 and stay warm this winter Please stay patient I have such plans for us ~👻~
2021-10-13 20:44:41 +0000 UTC View Post
☠️👻☠️ With all the pain that burns inside My ghost, now fetid will twist and writhe Releasing her to dance and play Please help me wash the scars away ☠️👻☠️ This is a video / screen test I did for a lovely bathtub dancy nakie times video. I love making these and I cry everyday I don’t have the good chip in my pc. Please don’t go yet. I have so much to show you… I promise it’ll be worth it. 👻
2021-10-12 14:02:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Sunday funday is also 🍑bum day🍑 and I’ll have my pc running by then… stay tunnnnneeeeddddd
2021-10-08 14:02:23 +0000 UTC View Post
*nicer version on sub channel or here for $3. It’s the same images less filtered - just got pc running so things will happen soon* Haunted things come to those who wait Your devious thoughts I shall placate Please don’t go I need you here To feed my soul with all your fear ☠️👻☠️
2021-10-07 05:39:20 +0000 UTC View Post
Facebook crashed the world so I had to meme about. Enjoy.
2021-10-04 18:48:07 +0000 UTC View Post
🌌*he said I was his stardust🌌 🌌*it haunts me*🌌 Tip for moving graphics in different colors This was just a treat - more later
2021-10-04 05:28:01 +0000 UTC View Post
I WILL BE GIVING A DISCOUNT ON MY PAID CHANNEL THIS MONDAY - STAY TUNED 🩸WELCOME TO THE FOLD🩸 Hauntlings - thank you so so much for waiting. My pc problem has been identified (bad processor 🙄) and I’m waiting for parts. This month is emotionally hard for me. The hardest so far. I had so many dreams for this year and my life has just been pushed in very different way then I planned. But I plan on making the absolute most of my October no matter the cost. I will take you with me this month on a journey into something dark, deep, and mind altering. This month is no holds barred. There’s no rules. Only the feeling of cold… the feeling of fear you get walking around a dark quiet corner. The feeling on the back of your neck when something you cannot see passes…. Through you. The feeling of all you past flashing before your eyes pushing your mind to places you cannot escape. The feeling, of being ☠️👻⛓HAUNTED⛓👻☠️ As I finish the first of my HAUNTING series for you please take a moment to enjoy these shots from the past given new life by Steven Peveral. Stay tuned… ~👻
2021-10-02 15:56:51 +0000 UTC View Post
*If you were on my sub account this photo would be a little spicier* My last 🌌MEMORY🌌 for this month will be incoming this week. I’m very excited to announce I’ll be working with a photographer soon on some very quality sets for the coming months. I’m the depth of all that’s happened the last 4+ months of my life I’ve still managed to create art. All these shoots I’ve taken some tease-y pics - I’ll be releasing some sets if you’re into that sort of thing. Nothing “explicit”. Just lots of 🍑 and side 🍈. Anything given / donated goes directly to the 🍜 ramen🍜 fund (and my bills lol). Thanks for sticking around. Pc going to a shop today. They say the future will be bright. Let’s hope it’s also dark in a good way ~👻~
2021-09-28 14:15:16 +0000 UTC View Post🫀🩸MEMORY 4🩸🫀 🩸☠️I awoke blearily, cold and limply lain☠️🩸 🩸☠️Each fiber screaming mass amounts of☠️🩸 🩸☠️ Confusion and pain☠️🩸 🩸☠️Pouring water on my face the red ran☠️🩸 🩸☠️Softly down☠️🩸 🩸☠️Your heart pounding, and I was☠️🩸 🩸☠️lurching☠️🩸 🩸☠️You sobs my cadence bound☠️🩸 🩸☠️I laid there for a moment ☠️🩸 🩸☠️hoping you wouldn’t☠️🩸 🩸☠️Cease your worry☠️🩸 🩸☠️All the while I hear you screaming☠️🩸 🩸☠️I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry☠️🩸 ***some words changed because OF restrictions - placed lovely extra tub photo since this is ppv and I wasn’t totally pleased with this memory. YW** Thanks for your Patients. I’m working on two “collections” photo sets and with my PC down it’s been rough. But don’t worry. You can’t stop the signal. ~☠️👻☠️~
2021-09-25 18:29:25 +0000 UTC View Post
Sometimes leather sometimes lace - sometimes deviant sometimes chaste - always always fall from Grace - 🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮 stay tuned
2021-09-23 07:27:15 +0000 UTC View Post
❤️🩹❤️🔥MEMORY 3❤️🔥❤️🩹 ❤️🔥🔥That day we marched like 7 miles🔥❤️🔥 ❤️🔥🔥the salt across my chest🔥❤️🔥 ❤️🔥🔥You want your voice to be heard🔥❤️🔥 ❤️🔥🔥to stand for what is best🔥❤️🔥 ❤️🔥🔥I went to protect you, because🔥❤️🔥 ❤️🔥🔥you’re weak and fair🔥❤️🔥 ❤️🔥🔥as the riot broke outside you🔥❤️🔥 ❤️🔥🔥gently washed my hair🔥❤️🔥 ❤️🔥🔥we ended in the gutter, laughing🔥❤️🔥 ❤️🔥🔥at the stars🔥❤️🔥 ❤️🔥🔥and now that’s where my heart is🔥❤️🔥 ❤️🔥🔥in the gutter full of scars🔥❤️🔥 So I have a sinus infection and someone is coming to look at my computer next week. I keep trying to work on it but in the meantime here’s a series - I tried to add a bunch of different ones showing movement. I have two professional photographers that owe me sessions. Both are not available till October but soon I’ll have some VERY NICE pictures for you. Some that will push the limits of what I’ve done in the past. What’s a memory you have of your heart alight that burns it now? I seem to have so many… ~💀👻☠️
2021-09-22 14:41:07 +0000 UTC View Post🩸🩸Enter now a special place🩸🩸 🩸🩸Separate from both time and space🩸🩸 🩸🩸A place where only you exist🩸🩸 🩸🩸And vanish into nothingness🩸🩸 I’m sick at the doctor. But it’s ok I’ll have another gift for you tonight 😏😏😏😏
2021-09-21 18:42:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Hopefully my PC will be up and running by Sunday. I’m the mean time enjoy this filtered edit “carousel” - these shots are available here for $3 or if you’re in the sun account youd just see them show up on your feed 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏 thank you for beating with me - I really needed you in my life. Light 🔥 Drink 🩸 Do 🖼 ~👻
2021-09-18 20:19:43 +0000 UTC View Post
💀🌸MEMORY 2🌸💀 *edit - I posted this last night and it wasn’t there this morning? Sorry if it’s a repost - some words changed because OnlyFans - I am posting one of these publicly so I threw in a couple bonus - photos by Kasey Allcot* 🌸💀Deep beneath the beet-ing of my 💀🌸 🌸💀now forgotten heart💀🌸 🌸💀lies a valley filled with canopies so thick💀🌸 🌸💀you cannot tell the sky apart💀🌸 🌸💀deep within the forest there 🌸💀a ocean glows with fireflies💀🌸 🌸💀as we sit and watch them dance,💀🌸 🌸💀I softly listen to your lies💀🌸 🌸💀smiling laughing, a hollow echo💀🌸 🌸💀future scream💀🌸 🌸💀then I remember I am dead💀🌸 🌸💀and this was just a stupid dream💀🌸
2021-09-15 14:19:02 +0000 UTC View Post
My pc isn’t working. Have this consultation shot (subscription got a spicier pic neener neener). I still have memories already set to share and I’ll have one posted here shortly. For what it’s worth I never thought anyone would look at my art. So thank you. Something something inappropriate cave joke here 👻
2021-09-15 01:07:02 +0000 UTC View Post
*MEMORY 1* 🌌that night🌌 by the window of leaded glass 🌬a cloud of mist🌬 came through You crept upon my 💀legs and chest☠️ Though unable to move I knew I awoke before the 🔥fire🔥 unsure my path from there 🩸forever thirst🩸 unquenched desire🩸 ⚰️The red upon my hair⚰️ ***edit: I had to change some words in the poem because of restrictions 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Hey guys! Life is super spicy for me rn. Everyday is a lot but I keep hoping the future will be bright. My memories haunt me and bring me to life. Each photo this month will be a little different, and subscribers will be receiving something special in your inbox as the bonus this month. Please enjoy this graphic I made, the original photo edit by Stephen Piveral!!! I made the mist 🌬🌬🌬 Enjoy!
2021-09-07 19:52:48 +0000 UTC View PostTrying to film something special today! Stay tuned - I hope you're having a great Labor Day!
2021-09-06 16:52:26 +0000 UTC View Post
😈😈😈😈😈😈 She wasnt like the other girls She didn’t stay within their world She always there with flowing hair Whispering softly in your ear A demon - ghost - witch - vampire Something deadly to admire. Be you. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
2021-09-05 01:41:20 +0000 UTC View PostMY HOOF SHOES ARRIVE TODAY! I may live stream to both accounts for the unboxing!!!! You wanna see me try them on? 🤤🤤🤤😈😈😈😈 let’s say, 8pm? CST. You can always subscribe to @suzyspecter for more incredible content that comes at a discount 😈👻💀☠️
2021-09-03 15:02:33 +0000 UTC View Post
Bonus Memory 🔪⛓Shackles⛓🔪 I remember being bound 💀 tightly pulled ⛓chains⛓ around I remember metal 🌬cold🌬 heavy pulling at my soul I remember echoed sounds, ✨tinkling✨ sharply, bouncing down I remember my resolve, to break free forever from ❤️🔥your love❤️🔥 I’m in dire straits precious ones. Stay tuned for some messages with special pictures in case you are interested.
2021-09-02 16:32:34 +0000 UTC View Post💀MEMORIES💀 Sometimes when we break free of the past we have 👥shadows👥 following us in 🧠minds🧠. Visions of the moments from when wence we came. 👻Specters👻 of our lives can bring us 🥰joy🥰, 💃🏼passion💃🏼, or intense 🔪pain🔪. Out 💀MEMORIES💀 can take us, make us, or break us. For those effected by PTSD, ADD/ADHD, spectrum disorders, schizophrenia and a multitude of other neurological issues, 💀MEMORIES💀 can be like ⚡️lightning⚡️ straight to our synapses, burning a path or lighting the way. Join me this month as we try to catch up to the present, by visiting the past, and hopefully paving the way for the 🌌future🌌 Love, 🔮👻🔮
2021-09-01 22:40:06 +0000 UTC View Post👻💀Precious Haunted Souls💀👻 🌌Trying to see a single ⭐️ in the galaxy of lights🌌 is… impossible. I built this place to share 🔮magic🔮 and educate about ⛓🪓🔪💊🩸🧠 the things we all face. But in order to create them, I must also still suffer from them. I do all my own 💄makeup💄 📸photography📸 📝editing📝 and 📖research📖 as well as work in the normal, sick mundane world. My last two attempts at photos have 🥺😔failed🥺😔. They have not captured what I want. They are not useable 🤬in the way I wish🤬 and so, I have decided this month to do something differently. I still have LOTS AND LOTS of 🖼content🖼 including items I’ve done before that’s never been released anywhere. I’m using the month of September to reflect on what I’ve done, where I’ve been, and hopefully see 🌌🔮👻where I can go👻🔮🌌. I truthfully have been processing an insane amount of 🔪trauma🔪 and art is how I continue to move even on my 🩸worst days🩸. So for September, it’s times to share some 📖📸🩸MEMORIES📖📸🩸 I’ll tell you my story, from the to now, and maybe you can share your 📖story📖 with me. I hope you’ll enjoy seeing 🔮👻🌌 MEMORIES🌌👻🔮 of the past, and at present find a way to fly into the future. Stay tuned: you’re about to see something 🔮📸🩸🔪👻🍑🤬🧠🌶💀 Yours In the Ether 🔮👻🔮
2021-08-29 17:41:05 +0000 UTC View Post
❤️🔥My Hauntlings❤️🔥 I sent you something 🌠stellar🌠. I hope you like it. Soon you’ll have the option of seeing some much 💄Lovelier💄 images, so be sure to stay tuned. I decided to start offering little bonus things for my re-subs. I hope I 👻haunt👻 your dreams ~❤️🔥👻❤️🔥
2021-08-25 12:54:32 +0000 UTC View PostSee 5+ photos a month plus all kinds of interesting, evocative things on my paid OF @suzyspecter! BEHOLD! Drop #3! 💄Red is my color and I always see red 🩸it’s the color of all the bad thoughts in my head 🩸 thank you for believing in ghosts 🔮👻🔮 There will be a bonus photo for my precious subs next drop WARNING: this series contains subject matter pertaining to mental illness, obsessive thoughts, suicidal ideations and other related content: IF YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW IS STRUGGLING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS OR SUICIDE PLEASE CALL 1-800-273-8255 or got to https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org for more information or help. When we have obsessive negative thoughts it can quickly bring us down into a cycle of depression or exacerbate anxiety. It can lead us to having tunnel vision where the only thing that we can see is our obsessive thoughts, permeating our body with stress peptides and causing us to not be focused on the present or what is important. Obsessive thoughts can be, and often are, detrimental to our health and well being. But obsessive negative thoughts are just that: thoughts. They are our brains' way of attempting to process emotions like fear, trauma, grief, and stress. Many conditions, like PTSD, create neural pathways in our minds so that when we are obsessive, a literal chemical bridge is made to trigger a fight or flight response. {remember the4 f’s: Fight (acting out), Flight(avoidance), Freeze (inaction), and Fawn(people pleasing)} For example, if you are in a car wreck and a song is playing when it happens, and every time you hear that song you re-experience or re-live the trauma , you create a pathway from the stimulus to a trauma response. Obsessive negative thoughts (in this scenario) may lead you to be afraid to drive. You may start to fear being in a car when other people are driving. You may think about co-workers, family members, or loved ones who may be in danger when driving. You find yourself thinking about what could happen if people you love are driving even when it's not warranted or even appropriate to do so. You may start changing the way that you work or act, or how you go and see your family just to avoid any of those types of situations. You may find yourself treating people differently, or excessively asking them about their driving habits, and telling them how you think they should be driving in case "something goes wrong". You should always seek professional help in order to start down a path of healing when it comes to obsessive negative thoughts. There are many ways to help you process and deal with obsessive negative thoughts, and having professional guidance is both helpful and cool 😎😎😎 you should never be made to feel bad about seeking therapy or taking medication. One technique utilized is called mindfulness. Processing the present. Being aware of your state and triggers and how to process them (you can find lots of resources online for this!!!) One way I process obsessive negative thinking is through art. At one point in my life I met someone who had obsessive negative thoughts and referred to them as "the bad thoughts". The statement was always "that's just the bad thoughts talking - don't listen to them" or "I can't let the bad thoughts bring me down today", "I don't listen to the bad thoughts". Very recently I experienced an extreme trauma that propelled me back into a cyclical dungeon of "the bad thoughts". I was left in my mind, in a negative thought spiral, constantly swimming - attempting to find something that could make me break out of what I often referred to as "brain lightning". I suffered a loss and grief and lost people I thought I'd never lose . They "left me with the bad thoughts" after they told me they never would. Sometimes it's hard to break ourselves out of negative cognitive behavioral conditioning; the act of creating neural pathways over time, associated with one stimulus or another. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a useful tool for healing when used properly, but that the brain does it on its own in trauma. For instance, if you are in a very toxic relationship and you find yourself being abused, when you get out of that relationship the abuse does not magically disappear. It can be carried with you unless you take mitigating steps. That being said, there is absolutely a light at the end of the tunnel. It's a lot of work sometimes but it is absolutely worth it. There's always something to try and that's the important part. Speaking from my personal experience, the worst part is always being deep in the middle of it. The part where people do not understand why it is that you can't "stop thinking bad thoughts". Harder still is when people who do not understand or have not experienced severe trauma. Sometimes they can't understand why you “just can't get better". Sometimes they don't understand why you act the way you do, or why you are triggered by the things you're triggered by. It's not to say that they are bad, just that they have no experience with it, and no understanding about what it means to be traumatized or to have negative cognitive behavioral conditioning from negative obsessive thoughts. That being said… The day that you decide that you want to change your life and release yourself from negative obsessive thoughts is a good day and a day when you can take a step forward in order to process those thoughts or to seek help of some kind. I'm not going to lie… I still fight every day being "left with my bad thoughts". Even after all the work I've done over all these years, and all the advocation - I still have found a way to plunge myself back into a place I thought i’d left behind from old traumas, and I am absolutely grateful for the people and the resources I have around me in those times when I can't break the cycle or I am constantly being re-triggered when I am out in public even at safe events surrounded by people I love - even when around some I don't. Having to live around something that destroys you mentally is a silent sword in the hearts of many. I suppose in making this art I am not being silent. That's the point, I guess. 🤷🏼♀️ Sometimes I get scared to reveal so much but I honestly want to connect with people, educate them, and find constructive and healing ways to deal with pain. I hope this conversation has educated, or at the least interested you in some way . If you've made it this far, I appreciate you. If you have a story that you'd like to share please feel free to message me privately at info@suzyspecter.com or on my OnLy FeRns @suzyspecter Know that if you suffer from obsessive thoughts or PTSD or any other form of mental illness, you are not alone, you are not "a pre-existing condition", and you are not only defined by your challenges. I hope that wherever you go, and whatever you do, that you dance, even if it's just in your heart. Be kind and DRINK SOME WATER O_o
2021-08-23 18:42:49 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello precious! Drop is coming this 🌌evening🌌 but in the mean time, have some candids from the 💄evocative💄 shoot I did. LIGHT🔥DRINK🩸DO🖼
2021-08-22 17:36:31 +0000 UTC View Post🔮TONIGHT!!!🔮 Soon my precious ones I’ll have a stream just for you 🤍👻🤍 For starters we’ll be over on my paid site tonight, while I don 🩸🫀war paint🫀🩸 for my next set of empowerment photos!!! I have new outfits and everything! Come play with us, forever and ever and ever… LIGHT🔥DRINK🩸DO🖼
2021-08-20 17:35:31 +0000 UTC View Post