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Hope you have an amazing week this week 🥰 Need to update and post more for you guys! Hoping to have a new set of photos out soon (within the next month!) 🩵

Lil selfie love for ya 🥰 It feels nice to be streaming again. And it means more selfies for yall since I’m actually not a gremlin everyday 🤭

STREAMS ALL THIS WEEEEEEK! Excited to get back into it 🥰 Back home for the next two weeks 🫠 Ya’ girl is a mess and all over - MY BAD. I’ve been SO bad with posting anywhere or anything. Little update… talked with a doctor upstate and in the next few months I’ll be getting another IUD & starting an intensive acne regiment to try and “cure” it (aka accutane) so it’ll be an interesting roller coaster. I will have to keep going up for check ins each month. I’ve been going back and forth on this and discussing with loved ones on what’s best and ya girl is done with not doing what I wanna do for me. SO WE DOING IT.

The days have felt a blur. Currently back upstate working BUT streams have returned and it feels so good to be back. Can’t wait to finish this job so I can really dive back into streaming 🥰

Been upstate working a bit, have a bunch more to still do. Finn hasn’t been loving a new place and making things a bit difficult, as he seems to only use the bathroom at dog parks while here 🙄. Hoping to finish out one of the big projects, or we’ll stage one of it, and hope that I can start feeling good about some things and taking photos for you all again 🥰 Once I’m back home, I’ll be back into streaming while I kinda figure out some life stuff amongst my time back home. Gonna have a lot to do the next coming year. And honestly need to do some clothes shopping to get some cute fits for day to day and for posts here The booty pics MAY have to be ones I send out to your DMs when I feel spicy and take any. We shall seeee! I’ll update you if there are any peachy things coming or sent out (I haven’t taken any! But been feeling myself a little bit more which may be good for yall 😅🤭)

Starting the week off with work work work 💪😮‍💨 The summer heat is intense and I’m so excited to start getting tan and being outside more. I’ve already somehow lost 15lbs or so (which isn’t noticeable rn) just from all the walks, meds, and time outside which is lovely 🥰 here’s to hoping I start feeling better and doing more for yall again soon

Next two weeks are gonna be me running around and working on 3 different projects upstate with Finn. It’s time to put life into gear and start making some serious changes I need for me. What are you guys getting into this month?

Streams will be returning this month! I really miss streaming and haven’t had a chance to work on anything stream related other than going through my clip archive and working on the jobs I have to do here. But! I commissioned a few new emotes I’ll be making live soon from Angel 🥰 you guys get to see them first. For now, streams will be a little random, but towards the end of the month we’ll get back into a little schedule or at least begin one!

🤔 I’m not quite sure how easy this can be, but what are some fun lines you guys would like to have of me saying if I were to record voice clips? Things like good morning, counting down from 10, or anything in particular - pls let me know here!!!

Today was a cute little day, checking out a new dog park nearby, tried Popeyes for the first time, and just trying to enjoy some time outside of the house. I think I’m feeling ready to be back to streaming again. I wish I had new shit for stream and all sorts, but I think I’ll just jump back into it and get back to a rhythm of streams, with the occasional week away for work IRL. What have you been up to? What’s been making you happy these last few months? Also got a new “rain” shower head cause our current one broke, so VERY excited to shower with that bad boy

Spending Mother’s Day away from my bb Finn and spending time with my family 🩵 My little brothers home, got to see my siblings and spending time with momma, lots and lots of food 🤤

Still alive 🩵 I don’t think I can call myself a “content creator” anymore. I feel like I’ve barely been creating and need to just take some time to really discover who “Gray” really is. Please bear with me 🩵 Thank you to those who’ve been staying subscribed despite my inconsistency and lack of “content”. Thank you for your patience, your kindness, and your support. Please know that there is not a current schedule for content or anything planned. But I’m hoping once I’m out of this funk, I can get into a schedule of sorts again and begin a new chapter of Gray 🩵

It’s been a really long time since I’ve taken a moment and sat down on the beach and just soaked up the sun. Did that for the first time since living by the beach in 7 years 😅 feels nice and I got to enjoy the sun and ocean sounds with my boys. Finn dipped his toes in but is too scared of the waves 😅

Spending time with momma and working up north. I am so ready to be done with this job 😮‍💨

One day at a time. My heart feels so empty without Mac and I’ve been trying to just take one day at a time. I started taking adhd medication which has helped me focus when I’m able to sit down and work but my days have been a lot of dog walks, dog sitting and traveling back and forth to my moms to work up that way (which apparently just had an earthquake - she’s fine but wowee for NJ quakes). I’ve been busy and haven’t even taken a day to put on makeup and feel “pretty”, just taking advantage of cold weather with sweaters and cozy clothing so I haven’t taken any selfies or pictures of myself really, but here’s some photos from a walk. I always find the beach to be so calming, I hope you enjoy them 🥰 I’m looking at may to be when I come back to streaming, but depending on a a part time job (in the vet field) I’m applying for, it could change the timeline but we shall see!

Take a moment with me, take a deep breath in and out for a moment of peace ❤️‍🩹

Mac’s ashes are home 😔❤️‍🩹 I’ve been trying to get myself to a point where I can donate his meds and things Finn can’t use to the shelter here, and I know I’ll fight every urge to adopt when I visit there. I just know I’m not ready, Mac is a huge part of my heart and it’s too broken to open it up for another sweet soul. Plus Finn is taking all of my attention for now. Hoping to get a couple of items made with Mac’s ashes so I can carry him with me on every walk, every adventure I go on. The necklace in the second picture I got for loved ones who may want it. Grief has taken the best of me this month, trying to get through the emotions, past the numbness and sobbing randomly throughout the day. I’ll be ok. Losing your best friend of 13 years, your child, and love, it’s hard. I wish no one ever had to feel this way. Content here will be updates periodically for now. Once my body and mind sync up and feel ok, I’ll think about more content here. But for now my focus is: get through each day, finish this inventory job for good, and potentially apply for a local job working with animals. I got tons of cute pics of Finn and one of my favorite places (the beach) to share here too, it may be a good bit of that for now. I haven’t been getting ready each day, only once in the last month have I put on makeup and felt “presentable”. Also thank you for those who take the time to read posts and updates. I feel like there’s a lot of people here for *specific* content, but y'all know that’s not my thing so thank you for being here and caring to hear updates.

Thank you all for your kind words and love during this difficult time in my life. This pain is one I wish no one ever had to feel. Losing Mac is the most painful thing, next to losing my dad. Mac was my best friend and quite honestly the one thing thats kept me genuinely alive for many many years. I miss them both so much. Please hug your loved ones and take in every moment you get with them while they’re here. I’m so grateful for Finn right now, have been trying to spend time outside with him when it’s not raining here. I want to get back to streaming, but have a few more things to finish with the category job before I do, and I need to get to a point where I don’t sob and breakdown at the mention of Mac before I feel comfortable being on camera again. I love yall and cannot thank you enough for being here 🩵

This last week has been one of the hardest. Medicines haven’t been helping and Mac has been progressing worse. I’ve had to make the hardest choice and schedule his euthanasia at home to ease him of this pain he’s in, not being able to breathe and to let him truly rest. I have to say goodbye to my best friend. He’s been with me for 13 years, through thick and thin. He’s been at my side through everything. And I know he’s made a difference in so many’s lives as well. Mac - you’ve been my rock, my anchor, my home. We say our final goodbyes soon. For now, I’ll be cuddling him and telling him how loved he is and that he’s such a good boy. 💔

Mac Update: Had some X-rays done of his whole body and we’ve come to the conclusion that he has cancer in his lungs. He’s starting antibiotics to help prevent an infection, and transitioning to a steroid that we’re hoping can help ease the pressure his lungs are facing. He’s ultimately not getting as much oxygen as he should due to the cancer so we’re going to see his comfort levels and go from there. I know I’ll have to say goodbye to him at some point. So long as he’s his spunky sassy self, we’ll put off our goodbyes. But I know it is coming. The vet doesn’t feel he’s at that point yet, so for now, we make him comfy, hope the meds help ease struggle, and give him unconditional love 🥺🩵

This month has been the worst I’ve seen Macs health. Just in the last 10 days he’s collapsed twice, had another believed seizure, and is he’s breathing hard with every movement he makes. I’ve been carrying him when I can help take the stress off his heart when coming in from outside. Tomorrow grandma (my moms) coming to see him and we’re going to take him to get X-rays (rather than go to a specialist for triple the cost and has a long wait list), to confirm our belief of congestive heart failure. This has been the most painful month so far. I don’t want my sweet man struggling. Yesterday morning he collapsed, but recovered, was okay, played with Finn (took the videos yesterday) and he was his sassy self, and then he had a seizure late last night. I have videos but I’ll spare the triggering footage. It’s just so awful to see him struggle to do simple tasks, like getting up 3 steps from outside, or just the exhaustion he has from getting onto the bed with our little steps for him. I know my time with him is coming to an end. I want to take him to the beach one more time, but I don’t even know if his heart would handle the walk there. It aches just knowing I have to say goodbye soon. I’m not sure if that’s in a few days, weeks or months, but I know his heart and body aren’t able to keep up any more 😔 my heart is fucking aching.

I’m sorry if I’m MIA here and there 😔 Mac’s health isn’t doing too well. He’s had 2 seizures, got put on anti-seizure meds and now collapses randomly from not being able to breathe (it’s happened 3 times thus far). Our vet recommended seeing a cardiologist. Meanwhile, I’m working the inventory job (which I have to go back upstate to finish) and I got a dog sitting job for a sweet woman I met on a walking trail who’s dog gets along well with Finn. It’s just been feeling incredibly all over the place along with some private matters. I’m feeling a lot of heartache right now, and the looming reality of how little my time with Mac is hitting hard. Ya girl is not ok (but I’ll be ok). Just need some time and to get some sort of balance in my days because right now it’s all over the place.

A little treat 🍑 for Valentine’s Day while I’m away 💝 #fyp #peachy #booty

Past week has been busy busy busy. I’m in bed at 9pm trying to fall asleep because I gotta get up and work harder. Turns out this project will most likely be something I’ll have to come back to later this year to finish because I only have 4 days left and just discovered 50 more containers to go through and catalog. First day in, my camera stopped working 🙃 (Waiting for a replacement lens), shower curtain fell and I was so nervous I was going to be screwed. Heh everything is good though! Slowly making my way through everything, getting quite the workout, eating delicious Filipino food, and once I’m clocked out, we sit down and play board games which has been such a nice change of pace. Being offline has been nice, but I do really miss streaming and REALLY miss my pups. Mac has started his anti-seizure meds, it seems to zonk him out but he’s doing well. Just ready to be home with my babies. I’ll be touch and go online for a bit longer, but love yall and hope you’re doing well 🥰🩵

I’m at a clients house for the next 9 days working so I will be a bit MIA 🩵 I can’t wait to finish this and be able to be home with my boys & work on stream things and stuff here 🥺

Mac has now had (as far as I’m aware of) 3 seizures in the past 6 months. My heart is aching. Just saw the vet today, came home, and after a couple of hours he had another one. I believe tomorrow morning I’ll be starting him on anti-seizure meds if we’re able to get an appointment with his doctor again. My heart is aching so badly. I’m absolutely helpless and want to do nothing but be by his side now to make sure he’s not alone, doesn’t get hurt if he has another one and to monitor him. This is my baby. My best friend, and the reality of how limited our time is with him is hitting harder and harder each day. Please be patient with me.

Lil selfie dump😅 I haven’t had any days where I’ve taken pics of myself and have been trying to really take in as much time without makeup and off camera as I can, it’s been really nice to have. Little reminder, I’ll be sharing things when I can - not daily updates but updates here and there. I can’t share too much from the actual job I’m working & honestly really want some privacy cause people are too damn demanding. I’m going through a lot of personal shifts and trying to figure out where I want to go next and what is next for me. Patience is something I’ve been constantly trying to learn and I know many can benefit as well. I’ve been wanting to be done with this job so I can start focusing on stream things and content. When I have down time right now, I don’t want to feel a pressure to post or make things - this time is to finish this job and try to refocus what I want and to enjoy making content on my own time, not to feel additional pressure to “fill people’s needs”. I hope you’ve been well 🥰

Snow days, puppy cuddles and pupper cuteness 🥰 Have to go away again for a couple days and I wanna soak up all the pup time I can. Being away from them makes me realize how much I genuinely need them. My breakdown counter has been immensely higher when I’m away from them 🥺 LOOK AT THESE SWEET BABIES

Had one day I got to spend with family, saw my sister and a nephew, then drove out to Brooklyn NYC with my mom to meet with her best friend who treated us to some truly delicious things from Cebu. I’m just glad I got to spend some time without distractions (mostly) with my momma, who’s been rocking wigs lately heh

My lord the last two weeks since my last stream have been go go go and I feel pulled from ALL ends. I’ve been clearing out a room full of thousands of sports things, working on the inventory, packing and all sorts. I haven’t had a *moment* for me to breathe, and when it’s down time, I’m being pulled in all directions with family, relationships and all sorts. I’m finally home home for a tiny bit but heading back up Saturday. This week I have to do online work for the job, take care of my boys and try to have really emotionally tolling conversations with loved ones & balance out some life things like general life maintenance 😵‍💫 Ya girl feels so goddamn exhausted from all the things. (The room shown was filled from floor to ceiling on all walls, I’ve been breaking it all down and taking a lot of photographs and more) It’s sooooo cold here but the pups got some snow and I’m happy I was able to get home safely to be able to see them enjoy it 🥰