It’s 3 a.m. I’m sitting on the cold steps of my apartment bu..
Added 2025-04-16 01:29:08 +0000 UTCIt’s 3 a.m.
I’m sitting on the cold steps of my apartment building because I can’t sleep.
I wanted to go outside for a bit, get some air, but it was too cold, so I came back in.
I’ve been struggling with insomnia again for the past two weeks. It’s slowly driving me insane.
I’m on edge, and I don’t even fully understand why.
Maybe it’s because of the upcoming trip to Belarus?
Yes, I’ve decided to go—because of my grandmother. It’s a risk, but I’m going anyway, hoping everything will turn out okay.
I haven’t seen my mom or grandmother in three years.
And something deep inside tells me—it’s time.
I need to go.
Last week, I went to an orthodontist for a consultation. I need to get braces and treat my jaw—the joint on the left side is deteriorating. They told me the treatment would cost around $5,000 to $6,000. I guess that’s another reason for the stress.
Now I’m just sitting here, shivering, my body aching, and I feel like I could throw up. I feel awful.
For the past three days, I’ve been dealing with a bladder infection, and my fever went as high as 39°C (102°F).
So lately, I’ve just been living in survival mode.
Anxiety is a terrible thing. It doesn’t show mercy. It eats you alive, piece by piece.
That’s where I’m at today.
How about you?
