(I still need to reply to your tipnotes, thanks for your pat..
Added 2024-06-29 18:27:40 +0000 UTC(I still need to reply to your tipnotes, thanks for your patience :))
In the past, I have been viscerally sad that every time I do something, I can immediately see how I could have done it ‘better,’ more aligned with my intentions, to be more beneficial to or conscientious of another ... but I am grateful for that constant-learning now.
I feel this shift is just beginning but… I am ready to accept that I cannot change the past. I cannot make better decisions in the past. I cannot do what I would have done now (now that I’ve had the experience), in the past. I cannot do what I would do in the future… but right now. I choose to just notice what’s here, where I am, how I am.
I have been anxious about the things that I am unaware that I am unaware of, and its infiniteness. All the things I do that impact other people poorly without my knowing, beyond my control. But I feel now maybe that dark infiniteness is an energizing force for life. Asking for some softness, some amusement, some savoring the strangeness of humaning together.
