There has been a shift in my mind lately. Before, my gain was totally in my control. I could keep going when I wanted to, stop if I ever felt like it. Now thatโs all changed. Giving up control to someone else, letting them make you as fat as they desireโฆ itโs scary. Iโm embracing a new side of myself where I have to submit and give up all control. It makes me nervous sometimes to think about how big Iโm going to be, and how I have no say over it. At the same time though, I love that. I love feeling helpless, submissive, out of control, degraded, *I love it.*