My biggest fears have actualized today. Because I am not ma..
Added 2022-02-06 01:00:31 +0000 UTCMy biggest fears have actualized today.
Because I am not making enough money through being a respite caregiver my parents are trying to convince me to get a job at a fucking grocery store.
I don’t know why but this is literally the worst thing I thought could ever happen to me after working so hard to make something out of my music and other TRUE passions, only to realize it isn’t enough and everything gets banned or taken away from me, forcingg me to resort to a job that literally any human being with half a brain can do.
I feel hurt. I feel like a failure. I feel trapped. I feel doomed to have to sacrifice my wellbeing in order to make any kind of income.
All my life I’ve been in awe by the phrase “follow your joy” and I know in my heart that is the only way to true success. I thought I was doing that and I was so excited to prove to the world that I could make a living doing everything I love. I don’t know where I belong now.
but my heart aches at the Idea of putting on a uniform and standing on my feet for 8 hours and trying to find the costumer service vocabulary that I never developed, why do I feel like there’s more I could be doing?? And if I do feel that way then why the fuuuuuuck isn’t there a clear path as to what that is for me?
I am so lost and hurt and I just want to crawl in my bed and die a little
