UFC 281: A Fish-Hooking Spectacular! Adesanya v. Pereira: ..

UFC 281: A Fish-Hooking Spectacular! Adesanya v. Pereira: Put Pereira alongside Jesus and Jon Snow, on the list of all-time incredible resurrections… If the fight weren’t being filmed from every angle, I would have thought Pereira’s corner injected him with PCP ahead of the fifth round. And speaking of Jesus, one must wonder if he was at the Garden rooting for Pereira, given the ending of Round 1 (It is my firm belief that, had the bell not rung at that exact moment, Pereira would have been on the ground seconds later… divine timing AF). Izzy was the clear winner heading into the final round, but Pereira went full Pet Semetary, having come back to life with an almost demonic fervor and unloaded onto Izzy, who was surprised and disoriented (as was every other carbon-based life form that was watching). Marc Goddard stopped the fight, which (naturally) fired up the “iT’S a ViOLeNt sPoRT” crowd, who aren’t happy unless we’re tripling the CTE rates at every event… PS: It’s worth noting that Izzy himself later agreed with the stoppage... He was very humble in defeat and I give him mad props for showing up to the post-fight press conference looking like Sean Combs (specifically in the “Puff Daddy” era)... Esparza v. Zhang: I don’t have much to say about this one, other than Zhang is an absolute badass and US diplomatic relations with China MUST remain cordial, if for no other reason than we need to keep her in the fold.. Poirier v. Chandler: As many of you know, Sweet Dusty is one of my favorite fighters and I still have a tinge of PTSD from watching him lose to Oliveira in Vegas last year (the event that was also the precursor to one of the worst hangovers I’ve ever had in my life… a rough night for all involved). Seeing him get the win last night gave me the same feeling I get when Forrest reunites with Jenny at the Washington DC reflecting pool… Pure bliss after a period of loneliness and uncertainty. Though, I am not too biased to acknowledge that Chandler gave him a run for his money, especially in Round 2. There was some controversy over “fish-hooking” (which I mistakenly thought was a term exclusively reserved for porn); Chandler maintains it was an accident, but I’m not sure I buy that… An eye poke is one thing, but aggressively fingering someone’s mouthhole requires some level of intent. While I frown upon such actions in the Octagon, I am open to it in the bedroom… KIDDING! (I’m too injury-prone.) Edgar v. Gutierrez: I think I speak for all fight fans when I say watching Frankie go out like that is like watching someone beat the shit out of Air Bud… Alas, not every legend can get the fairytale ending, no matter how much they deserve it. On the one hand, you wish he hung it up a little sooner and went out on top; on the other hand, you respect and love him for giving every last ounce of himself to this sport. I think the wise sage, Ariel Helwani, said/tweeted it best; “The Answer deserved better. F'n hell. Erase that and remember UFC 112, 118, 125, 136 instead”. H-ooker v. Puellas: Admittedly, I was behind on content this weekend and was busy banking some nudes during this fight… Glad to see Dan get the win, though! Stray Observations: KIDS, WE’RE GOING TO AFRICA! (and also South Korea, Brazil, Australia and Canada, apparently)... Dana announced at the post-fight presser that UFC Nigeria is in the works. Currently, there are no facilities in Nigeria to support this event, but as we all know after the establishment of Fight Island; Dana White is the Ray Kinsella of his time... #IYBITWC Headlines were “Drake lost $2 million betting on Adesanya”, when they should have been, “Adesanya loses fight after falling victim to the Drake curse”... Everything that man touches in the world of MMA turns to shit…If I were Izzy, I would sue. Hate to end it on a sad note, but I wanted to acknowledge the passing of Anthony “Rumble” Johnson… An incredible fighter with a reputation for being a stand-up guy… Such a loss to the fight community :( ... Thoughts and prayers with his fam. <3 xxxo, BriBri