Deepstroke Demo: The Power of Bate Buds With @grgisthewerd ..

Deepstroke Demo: The Power of Bate Buds

With @grgisthewerd and @collegebro4you

I remember when I was a kid I was always seeking out other guy friends. Not to play sports, or to dig in the dirt. I wanted other guy friends to hang out with, to build forts in the woods with, and to jerk off with. That urge to bond with other guys was there in me from a very early age. And in my mind the ultimate expression of that bond would have been to have the experience of pulling out our dicks and stroking ourselves and then stroking each other.

I think this is actually pretty common among men. Dudes are fascinated by penises; their own and others. Seeing up close and touching another’s dick is a special kind of intimacy. It is a bonding experience that only two dudes can share.

The idea of having another guy show me how he worked his cock seemed like a secret window into his private ritual. I wanted to observe and learn. And then I wanted him to reach for my cock and work me the same way he was working his.

As an adult I came to the obvious realization that masturbation is sex with yourself, and mutual masturbation is sex with yourself with other guys, who are also having sex with themselves. So in this convoluted way, I convinced myself that mutual masturbation can be an ideal guilt-free extracurricular activity when in a relationship. In my mind there was an implicit limit of physical intimacy drawn in the sand in my many post work out shower stroke sessions at the gym.

This is all very unique to gay men. We are super fortunate. Whenever I’ve talked to my straight friends about having stroke buddies most shake their heads in amused disbelief (and envy) at the permeability of sex and friendship among gay men. The challenges of long-term, sexual friendships between men and women more or less sums up all 10 seasons of Friends, and yet queer people are able to fill their movie nights and housewarmings with old hookups all the time.

I think this speaks to the bonding effect of mutual masturbation. It is a silent acknowledgement that what you do in secret I also do in secret and doing it together we share a very private part of ourselves.

And finally, masturbating with other guys takes away much of our culture’s shame and embarrassment about this universal practice. Even as gay men we carry shame. We grew up in the same culture and received many of the same messages and beliefs as everyone else. To overcome these beliefs you cannot think your way out from underneath them; you have to physically experience the opposite of each belief; you have to experience the taboo itself in order to form a counterbalance in your body and mind. Masturbation is one of the first taboos our culture teaches us. Mutual masturbation is the counterbalance and cure for this nonsensical taboo.✌️

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