EMOTIONAL RANT: Its the 2nd day into my breakup (or 3rd?) a..
Added 2023-09-13 21:09:20 +0000 UTCEMOTIONAL RANT: Its the 2nd day into my breakup (or 3rd?) and despite all the grief I'm experiencing, I have been able to start building myself up as small as it may be. I have come out to my best friend as non-binary and told him I'm on hrt and I plan on telling my parents soon, losing my partner has made me realize I put a lot on them about my gender and almost expected them and them alone to help me with things relating to it, I need more support than 1 person as that isn't fair to me or them. I have also decided to no longer touch weed, I have thrown away my paraphernalia and left over weed, I AM AN ADDICT (I was an opiate user when I was 18) and have found solice in many substances since then, these substances have allowed me to feel safe from my inner turmoil but I can't go on living like this hurting all those around me because I am unable to fix myself or love myself. I feel empowered that I have been able to do these things so quickly and it gives me hope in myself that despite what has happened I will be able to move forward no matter what happens, even if I am still grieving. This is my chance to become better to become the person I've wanted to be for years but had no energy to do so, I'm trying to look at this breakup as a wake up call. I haven't loved myself in a long time possibly my entire life, but I've felt sparks of it since I discovered my gender, the fact that I've not been open about it to those I cate about has been holding that love for myself back.
