I took these yesterday to post but right after that, I had f..
Added 2022-02-03 12:08:42 +0000 UTCI took these yesterday to post but right after that, I had found out the person I was into for a few months has had a double life, a girlfriend, and on top of it a fucking ra*ist Through alll of this I was sober so my feelings and everything felt real, so I can’t even trust myself anymore I feel. I keep attracting such wild fucking narcissistic people, my heart is too big and I have so much love in me, and they see that and prey on it.. this hurt more than my literal physical pain I’m in everyday. The lie was so good, it was starting to pull me out of this self esteem pit I’ve been in. Now I’m right back in it. But I’m not leaving you guys or disappearing this time around. Literally like clockwork this happened exactly a year after I was fucked over by another narcissist, and the year before that. I keep the details of things on here only, but the way I found out involves him r**ing a girl I’ve been online friends with. It happened ten years ago and To hear that before the part about him having a girlfriend just realllyyy fucked me up. If I were to somehow get in a relationship with this dude and then find that out, it would be so much worse. I’m glad this happened as soon as it did but I the intensity in which the happiness came into my life and got ripped away from me just as fast, how much I opened up and felt that I could. I’m super mad at myself. Fuck.
