I I don’t know what to say…. I’m up at 3:30 after passing o..

I I don’t know what to say…. I’m up at 3:30 after passing out three hrs ago but got abruptly woken with nightmares like rly bad ones and I’ve not had super super bad nightmares since like I was drinking They took someone else’s offfer for the house bc the buyer said he didn’t want an inspection to just sell it to him as is and that was more appealing to the seller.. it’s so fucked. People are ruining and have ruined the fhcking housing market by flipping homes and turning them into expensive fucking air bnbs it’s rly affecting the ability to get an affordable house bc you’re gonna get bought out everytime by an investor who wants no inspection and to flip it That will always win the buyer over and I wouldn’t feel comfortable buying a house without getting the initial inspection of everything bc it’s like my hearse when I bought it looked beautiful and it was cheap for a reason.. there was an electrical problem that couldn’t be explained and eventually sold the thing after throwing 6k into fixing the starter that no one knew what was wrong with it Why the fuck would you waive an inspection unless you yourself were going to renovate or flip I’ve been crying pretty much Non stop, I didn’t even tell you rly about how I found this house I was looking up my old childhood home and it randomly popped up my dads realtor didn’t even see if bc it was considered a patio home? Where the garage is detached in the back It felt so right to randomly stumble on it and see it in person and feel the vibes, and my dad got my hopes up too much trying to plan after like as if we already got the house When he came out and said that someone else got it I just dropped to the floor and cried, and have stopped maybe a couple hrs out of the whole day yesterday, when I made myself get up and make some kind of art.. Please send good vibes, anything to make me smile at least for a blip of a moment 🥺 Snagging a piece of art, or request a custom piece I can do for youooouuuu 🥹 I don’t have any commissions rn and am wide open to do stuffs, you can email me at viralflowart gmail ($200+ commissions with half down, the other half when you’re happy with it and ready for me to ship) and my DIRTY30 code that’s 30% off everything for you guysssssss ends innnn bout 14 hours, the more I get to pack and ship the more my brain will keep busy. Viralflowart.bigcartel.com So so much art is left and it’s closing in on me slowly as things sit and pile up bc I can’t just stop making art hah I’m going to have to soon tho bc legit zero room, any help clearing things I would be extremely grateful 🥹 ❤️‍🩹 I don’t know what to do, it’s like starting over the search of fuckery that I’m gonna compare every house to this one and it’s rly gonna make me sad 😞 I felt happiness there like I finally could have a home and the break I needed and been needing for like so so long..obviously there’s more homes out there but not for that price ready to move into in az Im extremely heartbroken and can’t look at houses anymore bc it makes me too upset seeing my dad wants to still find a house here and never will for his price range and what he wants when he could get two miles of land in Costa Rica and a luxury home for 100k less it’s INSANITY the place we bid on was still out of his price range but I offered to help with rent and closing costs and window coverings and see how much he was trying to plan lol before we even kneewewwwww it got my hopes up so bad as i was starting to envision us in it. His lease ends in a month and I’m terrified he’s gonna renew and I’m going to be stuck living in his living room for the same price if we were to just move into a rental home that’s how crazy the market is rn for apartments here too, and people are about to not ever be able to afford renting so there has to be a crash soon with housing and told my dad to go on a long expat vacation and come back or some shit when things are 100k cheaper it’s just fuxking logical bc he’s so worried financially and for good reason, my jaw on top of this is six digits… and he’s giving half his paycheck to his ex wife for five more years😔 I honestly am rly rly scared right now I need out so bad and privacy and a room of my own again this isn’t good for my mental health at all 😔 I managed to get feet pics for a couple peeps on here hah amidst my breakdown I was like wait I have to do feet pics Looooool I think I’m a workaholic bc when I stop everything gets too loud and I start to think too much and break down again so anything to keep me busy right now I need to be doing. Please send love and good vibes in any possible way you can even if it’s just kind words, it’s needed Very badly right now 😢🥺🥺🥺 right when my life was finally getting better for the first time since my mom died, I fucking lose the only security I had, my old place 🥺 for something so fucked up and legal it still makes me rly sick thinking bout how they can just do that to people and throw them out like they’re disposable 😖 Through all of this I’m remaining off alcohol though and don’t have a desire to drink, yesterday it did pop into my mind tho when I was crying as a way to help me calm down bc fuck I miss that about booze Thank you guys for reading this if you got this far it means so much to me ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 This is like my journal I’ve never had, and yes my life I’m displaying but I always took pride in being transparent even if it got me some shit and getting doxxed a few times lol I appreciate so much for u wanting to be here to watch my journey unfurl and go every direction of crazy…and not be judgmental to me, hurt me by saying mean things, make me feel invisible or less than, like I’m too sensitive or making me feel like an object… im a human here and I can’t tell you how much that means to me Thank you guys 🥺 more than i can ever describe thank you so so much, I never thought i could do this here because of how disconnected I became after camming, but everyone who has stuck around has made me feel like I’m worth something, it’s rly indescribable but that’s how monumental of a feeling Of gratitude I have towards you guys. Thank you for letting me be myself and say whatever and not feel like shit about it Xoxo Sky