Science supports a lot of notions about human behavior that ..

Science supports a lot of notions about human behavior that many men either refuse to acknowledge as fact or of which they simply choose to remain willfully ignorant. One such notion is very neat and dear to my heart. So much so that I’ve written about it many times, and I’m always drawn to write about it again as I start the shift into my fertiIe time of the month. The scientific premise is this: Evolution has put women in the mother of all mating conundrums. We all want to marry men who possess the characteristics of being great fathers. We just don’t want to have their babies. Reproductive success absolutely requires partnering with a male who is willing to invest in parenting the female’s offspring. Generally, these are men whose softer faces and rounder bodies signal greater levels of kindness, empathy, support and commitment to their females. And for three weeks out of every month, these men who’ve become our husbands are at the centers of our relationship universe. Even sexually, I’m generally more fond of having intercourse with my beta husband during the times of the month that I’m incapable of conception than other men. And it’s not just me. Study after study shows that women in the “luteal phase” of their cycle rate men with more masculine brows and jawlines, broader shoulders and greater levels of arrogance and musculature as less attractive. Why? Because, somewhat ironically, our instincts tell us that these are the exact types of men who enjoy the greatest amount of sexual opportunities with other women. And we instinctively know that the men most capable of getting easy pussy make the absolute worst longterm partners. There’s also a very strong basis for being primarily attracted to our “dad bod” hubbies for three weeks out of every month, which, as the science suggests, is pivotal in building the levels of intimacy required to successfully maintain the family nucleus, which in turn ultimately benefits her offspring with stable care and parenting. But then comes that “one” week of the month when the normal rules of attraction do an about face, and every domesticated fiber in our bodies twists in agony under the onslaught of a hormonal tempest designed to do but one thing and one thing only; get our tight little pussies fucked and inseminated by the exact same men we’ve otherwise been wired to avoid. The bad boy players. So why is this? As uncomfortable for some of you as this fact may be to hear, our little bodies simply prefer to carry the babies of alpha male jerks. As it turns out, the exact same characteristics exhibited by these assholes that tell our brains they’d make absolutely horrible longterm partners also happen to signal to our fertiIe little pussies that they possess all the key biological indicators of genetic fitness. And naturally every woman instinctively wants to carry the fittest offspring that she possibly can. Even, as it so happens, if they’re not her husband’s. Gulp. So now, with veil lifted, you all know why girls nights out coincidentally tend to fall during your wife’s ovuIation. And why her skirts get shorter and she loses the bra for that one particular week each month. It’s not just that she feels more confident and attractive (which she definitely does), it’s because she needs to be bent over in a smokey nightclub men’s room stall by a sexy y0ung jerk (preferably with your hair color) and filled to overflowing with every last drop of his asshole semen. And to make absolutely certain that she succeeds in her quest, nature grants her vagina a one week level-up each month that includes significantly greater swelling to magnify the tightness of her grip around her lover and an increased flow of lubricant to dramatically lower the viscosity of her vaginal walls, all of which is meant only to intensify the level of this stranger’s pleasure inside your wife, thereby ensuring his very intense, and more importantly, internal, climax. With her primal impulses abated, her clarity of mind will slowly return. And as hot and erotic as her risky little encounter has been, she will always return to the comfort and stability of her sweet and loving husband. But it just might not be until after a celebratory shot of tequila and a quick whore’s bath in the ladies room.