I don’t know how many of you know this because I rarely talk..
Added 2024-05-16 04:06:31 +0000 UTCI don’t know how many of you know this because I rarely talk about it, but I have a podcast and I wanted to share an episode I just recorded this evening touching upon a recent message I received. It’s all about connection and speaking with people I know on the internet.
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2246482/15077757
I’d like to just say that every person I have interacted with who has said more than “ur hot” to me: you’ve all made an impact on my life. You all matter to me. I remember your lives and your stories and what you’re going through and genuinely fucking care about each and every one of you, even if I cannot communicate with you on a daily basis. If you listen to this episode, I hope you can understand where a lot of my mental troubles come from, and it’s precisely from this: there are so many amazing and incredibly people I’ve met online who have truly touched my soul, and nothing is more difficult than coming to terms with the fact that 99.9% of you I will never ever meet in the real world, and that it is literally impossible to have and maintain thousands of close friendships. It’s been a very hard and difficult thing for me to mentally grasp, and I’ve spoken about this at length many times over the last two years.
I said it on this episode and I’ll say it again and again: if I could, I would cut myself into thousands of pieces just so I could give every person the personal time and attention they’ve given me. I really fucking would. I’m only one person, guys. I’m one person trying to multiply myself for the thousands. There will never be enough time, and there will always be too much distance, and I hate it. I absolutely completely and truly fucking hate it. It’s where so much of this pain inside of me comes from.
Maybe it’ll help you understand my side of things a little bit better, or maybe you’ll just resent me. I have no clue. Either way, I’m only human, my dudes. And it sucks.
